i thought i was just being possessed by the spirit of madame bovary. it’s clearer to me now: all the theories that i have formulated from the lectures and symposia that i have attended, and interviews and case studies with actual sufferers amount to zilch in comparison to what i have been through recently. it’s now confirmed that all my self-claimed knowledge of the subject matter is so superficial. you wouldn’t know the depths of it until you actually have it and experience it .
each day for 2 weeks i felt like i was always gasping for air while slowly sinking down in a bottomless bog without anything to hold on to. but i somehow knew that it was only temporary, taht it would go away. because i still had control over myself and it had not come to the point that i neglected personal hygiene like showering or washing my hair, which is a very bad sign. that’s how i knew i wouldn’t sink any deeper. there was intellectualization: ‘am i just faking it to have some form of excuse no matter how lame or pathetic it is just to avoid duties and regimen or is it really happening to me? how could it happen to me? i was trained and have acquired the knowledge to deal with it, i did extensive research on it, i would definitely know what to do if and when it befalls me.’ Hah! arrogance and conceit help pave the way to suffering
the mega dosage of antibiotics my doctor prescribed me to combat heavy coughing and inflammation had altered my moods and wreaked havoc on my general psychological wellness. it had created disturbance in the natural flow of chemicals in my biosystem, in the gray matter most specially. its effect had made me feel as though eveything was meaningless and all i wanted to do was disappear from the planet zork, to bid sayonara to everyone.
i would curl up on the sofa crying and feeling dejected for no concrete reason; i called in sick and didn’t go to school for two and a half weeks; i didn’t want to do anything or talk to anyone, even to my mother. the drapes were left undrawn most of the time because i didn’t want to see sunlight and the outside world. ganun pala yon!
and no, i didn’t attempt to slit my wrist or my neck (or my belly like harakiri); didn’t try to jump from the roof top of our condo either ( i was not delusional enough to believe that i would meet instant death leaping from a building that’s only 3 story high). there’s no dora rat killer in the house so suicide by poison is not quite possible; and the only gun we keep is a water toygun. i didn’t want to do a sylvia plath act either because that would be so unoriginal and lest i would be taunted posthumously as someone deficient in creativity and originality . gaya-gaya putomaya ba, and one more problem is my oven is electric not gas.
madame bovary will definitely be omitted from the reading list this coming semester. i’ll give the brats angela’s ashes instead, or maybe dilbert comics.
i smell spring, i’m dancing again.
SAYONARA !
I’m going to be confined to a mental asylum on a sabbatical for a while. I’ll be back in another lifetime .
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Sex and romance may seem inextricably linked, but the human brain clearly distinguishes between the two, according to a new study. The upshot: Love is the more powerful emotion.
The results of brain scans speak to longstanding questions of whether the pursuit of love and sex are different emotional endeavors or whether romance is just warmed over sexual arousal.
“Our findings show that the brain areas activated when someone looks at a photo of their beloved only partially overlap with the brain regions associated with sexual arousal,” said Arthur Aron of the State University of New York-Stony Brook. “Sex and romantic love involve quite different brain systems.”
The study, announced today, will be detailed in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology.
Left side, right side
The study was small, however, involving 17 young men and women, all of whom had recently fallen madly in love. They filled out questionnaires while their brains were hooked up to a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) system.
Romance seems to steep in parts of the brain that are rich in dopamine, a chemical known to affect emotions. These brain regions are also linked by other studies to the motivation for rewards.
“To our surprise, the activation regions associated with intense romantic love were mostly on the right side of the brain, while the activation regions associated with facial attractiveness were mostly on the left,” said Lucy Brown of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. |
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The study also revealed that as a romance matures, so does the mind.
“We found several brain areas where the strength of neural activity changed with the length of the romance,” Brown said. “Everyone knows that relationships are dynamic over time, but we are beginning to track what happens in the brain as a love relationship matures.”
Love wins
The processing of romantic feelings involves a “constellation of neural systems.” The researchers — neuroscientists, anthropologists and social psychologists — declare love the clear winner versus sex in terms of its power over the human mind.
“Romantic love is one of the most powerful of all human experiences,” said study member Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University. “It is definitely more powerful than the sex drive.”
Fisher said the study might suggest some of the physiology of stalking behavior. Other studies suggest that up to 40 percent of people who are rejected in love slip into clinical depression, she said.
“Rejected men and women in societies around the world sometimes kill themselves or someone else,” Fisher said.
Animals, too
There are hints in the study that romance is not a uniquely human trait.
Some of the changes seen with mature romances were in regions of the brain also associated with pair-bonding in prairie voles. Other studies have found that expressions of attraction in a female prairie vole are linked to a 50 percent hike in dopamine activity in the brain region that corresponds to the location where human romance is processed.
“These and other data indicate that all mammals may feel attraction to specific partners, and that some of the same brain systems are involved,” Fisher said. |
By Robert Roy Britt
LiveScience
Tanduay and Dalandan Soda, Superb!
spread the love
‘Ripples were washing over the satin dress, as pale as moon light. E was disappearing into its whiteness; and to him it was just as if, flowing out of herself, she were passing darkly into the things around her, into the silence, into the night, into the passing breeze and the damp smell rising from the earth.’
— Mme B by G.F.
samnayms ay meel layngk ay wanna nay, nyust nie en nisamir mrom na meys om nee ern. aym nrap, aym nrap.
http://90yulenna.blogspot.com/ is updated
From Shaluv and Chehluv respectively:
1. I talk to the trees.
2. When grocery shopping no matter what the quantitiy is I habitually calculate the amount of my purchases in my head that by the time I reach the cash register I often already know how much money I should take out of my pocketbook.
3. I believe that angels (with wings) exist.
4. After years of practice for the sole purpose of amusing myself and my hubby and our occassional party guests, I can do various accents (Indian, Russian, British, and French) .
5. My watch is 10 minutes advance. I don’t like being late for meetings and appointments.
1. I’ve never had a manicure or pedicure.
2. I collect angels, kaleidoscopes and whorish sexy underwear.
3. I don’t owe anyone money (and no, I’m not rich).
4. I don’t know how to use and I’m afraid to use a curl lash curler.
5. I’m a small eater.
6. My memory (long-term, especially) is eerily good.. eherm.
7. I’m double-jointed.
8. I’m not good at hawking so I always end up swallowing my phlegm (hehehe…o, gu-rowss ako di ba?).
9. It takes a long time for me to finish my food. I eat very slowly.
10. It’s difficult to annoy me.
go tag yourself
ang babae sa balete drive
