“I knew mother had something hideous on her mind. As soon as my dad and brothers left, she brought out one of my baby brother’s soiled diapers, knelt down beside me and in a soft voice said, ‘Eat it.’ I looked straight ahead, avoiding her eyes. ‘No way!’ I said to myself. Like so many times before, avoiding her was the wrong thing to do. Mother smacked me and slammed my face into the diaper and rubbed it from side to side, ‘I said eat it!’ she sneered. My nose struck first. A warm sensation oozed from my nostrils. I tried to stop the blood from escaping by breathing in. I snorted bits of defecation back up my nose with the blood. I threw my hands on the counter top and tried to pull myself out of her grip. I twisted from side to side with all my strength, but she was too powerful….”
- Dave Pelzer
His mentally disturbed and alcoholic mother called him “It”. Constantly starved and brutally beaten by her, he remained resilient and had developed an amazing strength of mind to overcome what he had been put through, and survived, without even the tiniest hate in his heart. I wanna be like him (to not have hate in my heart [not that I have a lot, just a few little ones and on purely superficial levels. And I don’t think I’ll ever be consumed by any of it; maybe… not just yet]).
‘Tis a very sad story, and I cried incessantly; the pages of the book were soaked with tears and I had to dry them off at the radiator. Muntik na ngang bumaha na parang ilog sa bahay namin eh….teheehehehe. My mom was still here when I was reading halfway through the book, she caught me teary eyed as I was lying on the sofa (my temporary bed while they were here) curled in a fetal position because it was biting cold and I was too lazy to get a blanket. “Sleep na anak” said she, and went to the next room and brought me a nice and warm comforter and tucked me to sleep with a little motherly good night kiss planted on my cheek.
It felt so good.
This Dave guy, he became one of the Ten Outstanding Young Men in America in the early 90s and currently one of the most sought-after inspirational speakers in the country. Looking at it in a philosophical perspective, one would probably think that he’s peddling that “existentialist” crap-crap nila Sartre & co. : that you are responsible for your own actions and that you cannot make circumstances give you the right to blame your parents, or your siblings, or anyone for that matter if your current state of being is messed up and not rosy like the way you wanted it to be because you had been abused or love-deprived as a child. There is always a choice.
But then again, it depends…
Anyway, ignore me. I don’t really have a point because I’m too lethargic to really think about all this at the moment. But if you ever come across it, grab it and read it (pun, yes) ; it does make for a good purgation.
never ever hurt a child
>
